Sunday, September 6, 2009

keeping things in perspective

i have moments in my life where i take a couple steps back and look at where i am. i think everyone has these moments. i don't know however if everyone intends to but in my case, even when things are going ostensibly well, i do it. just to make sure I have things in perspective.

in addition, maybe being away from home, and trying to psyche myself up to write book 2 of KAPENG ARABO, that i do this now more often.

last night, while lying in bed, i had one of those moments. i realized I've been working more over the past couple months than i have in a long time since i stepped foot in the hot desert of saudi arabia. while work at my regular job has slowed down, but moonlighting (sidelines) picked up remarkably, which is a good thing. it makes me feel a little more secure, at least to distance myself from boredom and loneliness?

on top of that, i'm helping a buddy here during thursday and friday,and sometimes during working days. which basically means i now work seven days a week.

but realizing this, i had a moment of hesitation about it. i thought to myself whether i could really handle that or not. though in my mind, i really admire american president obama's inaugural speech (huwat! bkit naman eto nasali?) for acknowledging 'progressive spirit' as all about 'hard work'.

the first part of my life in saudi arabia was very much family-centric. i spent money i even didn't have trying to sustain the family's need. while i don't regret those decisions, i have come to realize my follies in not putting everything in perpective. i should have not encouraged them to become too dependent, and i should have acted with more wisdom knowing this thing i enjoy now is not forever.

in order to make sure the rest of my life goes the way i want to, i'm willing to bust my ass now. i'll drag myself fully out of debt, create savings for myself, and put in the effort to deserve the good things i want later.

i know it sounds simple,but harder to live, right? for myself and the rest of the nation. I think we'll all be working harder in the days ahead. perish the thought. ;-)

other than that, life goes apace. i guess my point is that things are good right now. i feel good about working more. i feel good about putting money with purpose and making healthy choices. i feel good that i'm planning a little more for my future.

i guess i've reached a sort of fork in the road in my life, and i think I've chosen the right path. maybe not the easier one for now. but so it goes, right?

hala! midlife brain menopause ba eto?

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