i have moments in my life where i take a couple steps back and look at where i am. i think everyone has these moments. i don't know however if everyone intends to but in my case, even when things are going ostensibly well, i do it. just to make sure I have things in perspective.
in addition, maybe being away from home, and trying to psyche myself up to write book 2 of KAPENG ARABO, that i do this now more often.
last night, while lying in bed, i had one of those moments. i realized I've been working more over the past couple months than i have in a long time since i stepped foot in the hot desert of saudi arabia. while work at my regular job has slowed down, but moonlighting (sidelines) picked up remarkably, which is a good thing. it makes me feel a little more secure, at least to distance myself from boredom and loneliness?
on top of that, i'm helping a buddy here during thursday and friday,and sometimes during working days. which basically means i now work seven days a week.
but realizing this, i had a moment of hesitation about it. i thought to myself whether i could really handle that or not. though in my mind, i really admire american president obama's inaugural speech (
huwat! bkit naman eto nasali?) for acknowledging 'progressive spirit' as all about 'hard work'.
the first part of my life in saudi arabia was very much family-centric. i spent money i even didn't have trying to sustain the family's need. while i don't regret those decisions, i have come to realize my follies in not putting everything in perpective. i should have not encouraged them to become too dependent, and i should have acted with more wisdom knowing this thing i enjoy now is not forever.
in order to make sure the rest of my life goes the way i want to, i'm willing to bust my ass now. i'll drag myself fully out of debt, create savings for myself, and put in the effort to deserve the good things i want later.
i know it sounds simple,but harder to live, right? for myself and the rest of the nation. I think we'll all be working harder in the days ahead. perish the thought. ;-)
other than that, life goes apace. i guess my point is that things are good right now. i feel good about working more. i feel good about putting money with purpose and making healthy choices. i feel good that i'm planning a little more for my future.
i guess i've reached a sort of fork in the road in my life, and i think I've chosen the right path. maybe not the easier one for now. but so it goes, right?
hala! midlife brain menopause ba eto?